The Pensieve

wenky says i’m half a guy. that’s really mean. but then… i think a few guys treat me as their guy friend leh. it’s a good thing if i treat them as friends only too. but… what if it happens to be a guy i like? then die liao… i’ll forever be his dage/xiaodi and he’ll not be any bit romantically interested, cuz to him, that would be like homosexualism. ergh.

now one of my male cg mates also says that in certain aspects, i’m like a guy! how where and what? ahhh… psychologically? emotionally? mentally? can’t be physically rite. (haha hypoC i like yr ‘term’… yr gd frd told me ah…) :S and he has the gall to suggest that i should look for a girl instead. and then he said, maybe i’m not lady-like enough, must wear wat cheongsam… 欠匾是不是! (< - prime example of me lacking gentleness, meekness, and mildness)

i think this is the reason why i keep hearing so much guy-talk around me. sheesh.

shld i take anti-testosterone? go test my serum testosterone levels? how?

***

while shopping today, my mum and the saleswoman started gossiping and i slipped off to see other shops… later, my mum decided to give me a blow-by-blow account of the conversation. (warning: she’s very long-winded)

salesgirl1: your daughter huh? working liao?
ma: no la, still studying lor… i’m not so lucky yet.
salesgirl1: soon la…. you so lucky, daughter so big already… can shake leg at home…
ma: i hope soon la…
salesgirl2: auntie, you how old ah?
ma: xx (haha cannot reveal here!)
salesgirl2: really? you don’t look your age leh.
(here i shall shorten to merely - blah blah blah blah blah and all that jazz)
salesgirl2: so auntie, you guess where i’m from?
ma: you? dunno leh, u not singaporean?
salesgirl2: haha you won’t be able to guess where i’m from. you know here [salesgirl1] is from?
ma: china lor… her accent can hear…
salesgirl2: ya… actually me too, but my accent different la. not clear.
ma: really? you sound like a singaporean! you know what, my daughter, just now the one u see rite? pple say that she looks like she’s from china! maybe partly also coz of our surname and her name la…
salesgirl1: oh… is it?
salesgirl2: oh, cos she’s so fair mah!

HAIZZZZ… 　气死我了！

someone hand me some bronzer please…

***

hmmm i’m suddenly seized with an urge to LEARN something else… i’m a bit half-hearted about art. going to start scenery drawing this saturday, and i feel a real ‘dearth’ of confidence.

i want to learn FRENCH! or revise SPANISH! but i think french would be more challenging. hmmm… my ITALIAN’s almost totally gone! i can read and understand but i cannot write unless i’m guided step by step armed with a dictionary and verb conjugator! *sob sob*

someone sponsor me SGD$244 for french can? i’m very broke! sigh but the next set of classes start next week… erm how? maybe tomorrow call my cousin up, perhaps can save $244 if i borrow all her materials though i still like learning in a group instead.

oooooooooooooooh and i heard the teachers at alliance française are verrrrrrry gorgeous though gay (i tell you, gays can be very charming one ok). but nevermind, eye candy also enough. *teehee*

WARNING!: this is a strongly gals-only entry (and only gals who SHOP), it’s also for bohliao guys and guys who love to shop for women’s things… and really. i’m quite amazed by such guys… guys who like to shop for women’s stuff are a rarity, guys who are able to shop for nice women’s stuff are almost extinct. let me know if you’re one of them!

***

a whirlwind of clothes, shoes, handbags, more clothes, more shoes, even more accessories… numerous hours later and 2 pairs of ‘flat’, aching feet, we got these ->

for moi
- a full-length hand-dyed powder-blue skirt with vertical pale blue satin ribbon trimmings from potpurri, i could die for it! (but i won’t la) AHHHH! i fell in love with it the moment i set my eyes upon it.
- a three-quarters tie-and-dye dark red flare-at-the-bottom skirt with thin horizontal copper trimmings cum a REALLY cool scarf belt (only i’m not gng to use it as a belt) with sequins and black lace-like thingy from metro’s express(?) i was a bit ambivalent about it, but my mum said it was very nice… so well… once in a while, she’s right lah, and this was one of those instances. muahahah…. can salsa in it. (if only i knew how to. heh.)
- a pale green erm very interesting almost two-piece top from fashion-lab. green leh. that’s a rarity!
- a pair of thongs (the shoes, NOT the underwear) from tangerine, v unique design, looks quite ‘ethnic’… beads and all…
- a pair of espadrilles-wedge hybrid from tangs studio. it was 一见钟情! it’s sooo nice! and the way the straps cross, so unique! ¡hermosita!
- a pink punch watershine lip gloss from maybelline (heh, actually my lips are already so red, i think i just need some gloss… )
- a tuscan sun nail enamel from revlon :)

and then my mum said i should get some dangly reddish-brownish earrings to go with my dark red skirt, i thought i was the earrrings whore!

and for my mum
- a floral print v nice material… dunno wht… three-quarters length skirt! her first! hehe and though she’s shorter than me i think it look v nice leh… :)
- this powder green cotton woven top with very exquisite embroidery… sleeveless… ah anyway it’s just VERY nice la, just rite for her!
- white pants… she’s FINALLY broken out of the ‘auntie’ paradigm, where all these aunties will try to avoid white skirts/pants/bottoms for fear that they’d get the clothes dirty when they sat down. i think white pants will make her look less ‘auntie’. hehehe…
- cream thongs (once again, the shoes, NOT the underwear) from tangerine as well. looks a lot like the ones i got from HK! (i shudder to think that those shoes i got fr hk a year ago, only became available here now…)

she’s still got to buy one small bag for formal use (double yay for the paradigm shift… she’s no longer treating her bag like a life-saver-cum-first-aid-box-cum-rainy-day-equipment-bag) and one casual bag and pearl earrings!

***
me: (pointing to the green top) ma, quick quick, go try this one! very nice! quick la… (and proceeded to hustle her into the change room and threw her clothes over to her)
ma: how you know i like green?
me: i didn’t, but i know you like the embroidery on that type of clothes ma… you mean you like green?
ma: ya, when i was young ah, my clothes all green you know!
me: er… but your photos don’t show green clothes leh…
ma: the photos old liao wat… all yellow-brown… how to see the green? anyway i tell you, everyone said i looked good in green ok…
me: orh… then why you don’t have any green clothes in yr wardrobe now?
ma: … … … anyway i like green la!

seems like i’ve found someone else apart from erhem who likes a lot of green!

***

if i go to spain, i’m gonna buy SHOES! no, to be specific, i’m gonna buy WEDGES or ESPADRILLES!
it’s so cool, they name their shoes by female names…. chk this out -> Espadrillesetc.com

and i’ve decided, i’m calling my pair of espadrilles-wedgie hybrid BIANCA. you’ll know why when you see ‘her’.

ok, this is even more ‘droolsome’ -> Nordstrom.com chk out ‘lover’s spat’, ‘divinity’, ‘dorie’, ‘daisy wrap’… droooool….

oooh, ‘heart to heart’ is also not bad… oooh april flowers!
call me a shoe whore… haiz.

i agree with xiaxue, WHY ARE THE SHOES IN SG SO F* UGLY (i think this was what she said?) er, but her espadrilles also not very nice la…