The Pensieve

*pray, read this aloud, it’s ever so musical!*

SONNET 148

O me, what eyes hath Love put in my head,
Which have no correspondence with true sight!
Or, if they have, where is my judgment fled,
That censures falsely what they see aright?
If that be fair whereon my false eyes dote,
What means the world to say it is not so?
If it be not, then love doth well denote
Love’s eye is not so true as all men’s ‘No.’
How can it? O, how can Love’s eye be true,
That is so vex’d with watching and with tears?
No marvel then, though I mistake my view;
The sun itself sees not till heaven clears.
O cunning Love! with tears thou keep’st me blind,
Lest eyes well-seeing thy foul faults should find.

The pen is indeed mightier than the sword. How else could one simple lesson on love be expressed in terms of a paragraph of words? Of which every two lines serves to reiterate the lesson? Anyway, i’ve had first hand experience with the fog and hope that my vision will not be overly obscured again this time round. or in any future times.

at least now, if i make excuses to condone a behaviour that does not appeal to me, i am aware of it. better than being in self-denial of such glaring problems.

but truth is, for the first time in my life, i have no plans, many thoughts and loads of confusion. countless hypotheses and propositions, threadbare ideas and i hate this kind of lack of control over my life. urgh.

oh boy, i am so complex even i don’t know who i am or what i want or where i’m going with this line of reasoning and wat the heck this entry is doing on my blog???

dopey signs off more clueless than her usual self (is that even remotely possible?

Rating: ****
Official site

‘Transamerica’ is a surprisingly light-hearted film about a transexual who discovers that he/she has a son from a relationship 17 years ago. Felicity Huffman, who also appears in ‘Desperate Housewives’, starrs as Stanley/Bree Clara Osbourne, afflicted with what her psychiatrist calls - gender dysphoria. He/she has undergone numerous plastic surgeries and morphed into this lady we see in the poster above, but is still dissatisfied, and intensely loathes the um… ‘male organ’ (not using the actual word here cuz i dun want my blog to be spammed), and he/she has made a long-awaited appointment for a surgery to remove it. Unfortunately, a week before the operation, he/she receives a call for ‘Stanley’, from his/her son…

Eventually, Bree decides to pretend that she is a social worker of sorts from the church and bails her son out from the lockup. They start a transamerican journey, from New York to Los Angeles, where Bree will have her surgery and when her son will fulfil his ambition - to bleach his hair blond and star in a porno flick. -_-

Despite the lack of interaction between father and son for 17 years, the two are more alike than they can ever imagine… Both are facing gender problems… I believe that there might be an element of homosexuality in Tobey (Zegers), which could be something ‘inherited’ or merely a way of survival in his kind of world. But I think it had environmental contribution as well, in terms of his step father who sexually abused him. But this is a discussion for psychomed tutorial, and not in some film review…

Generally, this film is about a journey, both physical and emotional. A journey of great significance. For Bree, it’s a realisation that a physical body that is entirely woman is not what she really needs to complete herself. It’s respect and acceptance from the person who mattered most - her son. For Tobey, it’s a realisation that instead of rebelling and running away from the physical abuse and it’s psychological impact, he learns to accept that fact as well as to understand that physical intimacy is not the only way to show his respect or love for a person (and that goes for all you people out there as well).

There was this scene… Bree’s in bed, wearing her flimsy night clothes, chest a bit exposed that kinda thing… Tobey enters, he’s naked, wearing only a bathrobe. He tells Bree of his feelings for her, I think he misread his attachment to her as of sexual need, instead of motherly care… (heh heh) And offers to um… u know, have SI with her and marry her (I know I know, this is highly ridiculous!) But it serves to highlight just how naive and limited his emotional state was. I felt a bit sick there. Bleah. Homosexuality, and certain um… fetishes I can tolerate, but the thought of incest is nauseating.

The most exciting scene, or the one which causes you to grip the edge of your seat and just cringe while waiting for the backlash… During the long drive through, Bree gets off to relieve herself, well, you all know how men and women have to assume um… different positions to pee… and, when she hitched up her skirt… ok, u get the idea (or more like the view), Tobey happens to see the entire shocking act in the car side mirror! horrors of horrors rite! I’m more concerned with the shock he must have had, imagine yourself being in the company of some woman you’re beginning to trust as a voice of authority who turns out to be a MAN (especially when he suffered sexual abuse under the hands of his stepdad)! imagine the betrayal! So i could understand the hurt he felt, in fact, i thought Tobey ought to have reacted more furiously than in the movie. Anyway, my friend thought that it was more worthwhile that I blog about the prosthetic p*nis. Seriously, it looked real enough to me (not that i’ve had truckloads of experience) but my friend, who is obviously more experienced was impressed by the very genuine-looking prosthesis and thought such good work should be applauded! (***clap clap clap for Oscar award for ‘most genuine fake body part***)

It’s a well-done up movie, though a little rough around the edges, definitely not as suave and smooth as ‘Brokeback Mountain’. But the journey each character takes is beautiful in its entirety. Interspersed with witty quips and occasional climaxes (not literally ok), it’s definitely worth a watch, or two.

Post patho madness (yes i think we got tekan-ed on the paper cuz there were like 1.5 questions on forensics!) Went with ahleong’s cg (what’s left of it anyway) to Settler’s Cafe!

yeah… been hankering after that cafe after they kept telling me how much fun it was… and the prices are super reasonable. It’s like 6 bux from 2-6pm inclusive of freeflow of drinks, and like a thousand and one games… what more can you ask for? Add four bux and you get to choose between a meal of fish and chips, chicken cutlet, various chops or spaghetti. The amount is not gargantuous but just nice. Plus anyway, you’re there for the games and not the food. (special prices requires you to show your student card)

Settler’s Cafe is a rather new concept from an enterprising and fun-loving group of young adults (i suppose)… offering a place where people can meet up, play games and just enjoy themselves. They even have wine appreciation! You can organise parties there, team building workshops and watnot. Great for big groups! Maybe i should organise my primary school outing there!

We went to the main branch at clarke quay, snugly situated one junction away from chinatown point… The other branches are at Holland V and Katong.

Had a really great time there, and we made such a ruckus, i’m glad we were the only peeps ard yesterday. Haha i think the rest of the pple are either at school or having exams, or both. muahahahahaaa… Started off with a simple game, to get warmed up… things start to get violent every now and then.

Finally we started to play taboo which is waaaaa, i’ve been very hooked onto the game ever since the party at nic’s place. Maybe i should make my own taboo cards. heheheh… i could make a set for patho? anyone keen? tried a few other games, mostly they require sharp eyes, alertness and quick reflexes. keke… which made us realise that sometimes people might appear to be very blur or are forever nodding and drooling on their notes at school, but they aren’t too bad when it comes to games. hah.

Things started getting violent in this game where we had to match shapes/colours and then the first to spot the similarity had to snatch this wooden thingy off the centre of the table… The last phalange on my little finger almost suffered a dislocation. hehehe… but it was fun… i just regretted that i should have stuffed my elbow into ahleong’s face so he couldn’t grab that thing away from me. HypoC was also immensely entertaining, i mean it, it’s more entertaining to watch him play the game than to play the game itself. hehehe those who went will know what i mean…

Cranium - this game that yuwen picked up…. wow it was so difficult we barely got started before we had to stop. Our brains were too fried from patho to attempt anything even a wee bit cerebral. heh.
No prizes for guessing whose nicely tanned but not too muscular arm in this photo is. It’s not us in there!

Sadh was like the best! she’s really good at taboo, even cranium! actually, anything cerebral… she seems to have this infathomable link with yuwen, (they even wore same coloured clothes that day) and they work seamlessly at taboo, leaving their team mate ahleong hanging in some foggy place. heh.

Other games we played was cloud #9, which is a game based on trust. I think Josh had the bad luck of trusting the wrong person or maybe trusting too easily… Actually i have a confession, i think that i made an error in the use of wild cards, so…. maybe that resulted in his dismal score… I like this kind of trust-based games, it hones my ability to lie. hia hia hia…

Played another game in which we had to remove coloured sticks from this mountain… a bit like jenga. Only when u remove the sticks, you could cause some of those monkeys suspended on certain sticks to drop. the objective of the game is to get fewest monkeys as possible. Really, the game was like keyhole surgery, as hypoC aptly put it.

Anyways, it was a really good experience and i think i might have shrieked too much (sorry to josh who was within my shrieking range cuz i got over-excited, but not too sorry to ahleong next to me… you shouldn’t snatch the thingy from me! :P) Hope to go there more often with all my other friends, and especially my own CG!!! where you people ran off to ah???

Visit the site and check out the extremely long list of games available at the cafe!

ok this is it! next to last lap.

gonna try to sleep now.

need the energy for tomorrow’s paper AND the mugging after that paper…

ooh the mugging…

everyone at home’s so sick of me and my books. heh.

please let my remote memory work, and let my subconscious float up to the conscious level, and let my quirky photographic memory work!

and after tom’s test, i shall wonder how on earth i’ll pass the patho exam if they give such a question on wed:

How would you distinguish between:

a) suicidal and homicidal wounds
b) strangulation and hanging
c) rape and consensual sex of a young girl

non patho quote of the day!

“i believe some day i will find a k750i lying somewhere waiting for me….”
— anthony

i can barely imagine…

been stuck on the computer from yesterday till today frantically trying to look at all the slides and pots again.

thanks to eugene (i think it was him), our web master rite? who loaded the entire site into our surviva.org which has almost unlimited bandwidth… cuz the slides were originally on geocities (which we all know got such a limited bandwidth)… luckily, or else i would be so screwed up!

XYZ, a medical student who has been studying for his pathology examination for a month, discovered a pimple on his nose while washing his face in the morning.

a. Describe the gross morphology of a pimple. [3]

b. Explain the pathogenesis of formation of a pimple and list two organisms frequently implicated. [4]

While washing his face, XYZ could not help but burst the pimple. He noted that a yellowish, mildly sticky fluid oozed out from the pimple.

c. Describe the histological features of the yellowish fluid. [3]

distinction viva question:
d. Hypothesise the pathogenesis behind a pimple formation, even though XYZ is currently post-pubertal, maintains good facial hygiene, and has not recently nicked himself while shaving. [heh heh heh]

Don’t know what you do to me but
Everytime I’m with you it’s a natural high
It’s like re-discovering Eden
with chocolate -coated rainbows and cotton candy skies
And everytime you look my way
I wish I had the guts to say

There’s something in your eyes
Something in your smile
Something in the way you move me
You make me want to sing
Make me want to dance
Make me want to cry
I’m falling in love with you.

I think I’ll hire Cupid
He’ll make you see I’m more than your friend
You’ll be tossing and turning
Counting the hours till you see me again
And when we meet you’ll
Kiss my hand and say the words I’ve longed to hear

There’s something in your eyes
Something in your smile
Something in the way you move me
You make me want to sing
Make me want to dance
Make me want to cry
I’m falling in love with you
You make me want to sing,
make me want to dance,
make me want to cry
I’m falling in love with you.

Oooh great song! Very appropriate to use to express your feelings for someone that you like!

I think I have to start paying more attention to the lyrics of songs I’ve been listening to. Never know when they might come in handy!

i’m actually beginning to look increasingly like that cyanotic sleepwalking smurf on my page.

if the exams don’t just finish just soon, i think my face will turn gangrenous or something. sigh. issit going to be wet gangrene (gross) or dry gangrene? then my head will fall off like how toes do!

am typing so much crap.

can’t wait for the electives to start, but yet, quite worried for the med one… cuz i always look so perplexed and give answers that are so lousy they remind me of this…

Snape: what’s the difference between a ghost and an inferi?

Potter: er, a ghost is transparent?

and yes, when i start reading harry potter (i’ve almost read the entire series over 1.5x) it means i’m under a whole lot of stress!

i wish i could just take the patho exam, enjoy the ultra-short break then fast forward to my emed electives! i can’t wait to do emed again! yes yes yes yes yessss!

These days all songs revolve about love or heartbreak, so this was a really fresh set of lyrics…

I barely take note of what the songs I listen to actually mean, as long as they sound nice. But this one somehow stuck…

Mr Beasley - Corrinne May

You don’t have to drive a fancy car
Don’t have to quote me Shakespeare
Just to woo me
Yeah I see your nervous laughter
When you’re trying to crack some joke
Well you don’t fool me

I’d like to see your eyes through those goggles that you’re wearing
Don’t try to hide away

*Just be yourself Mr. Beasley
I don’t need your show of attitude
Cos it’s your soul that makes me fall in love with you
Fall in love with you*

You don’t notice but I see you
In the church when you were praying
You just move me
And my friend Sue she tells me
You’ve been teaching kids for free
Mr Philanthropy

I’d like to see your eyes through those goggles that you’re wearing
Don’t try to hide away

*repeat chorus*

Comments:
I appreciate the message it transmits… I realise that most people project themselves differently to the person they like or to their significant other. However, most people don’t realise that the other person may have fallen for them precisely for who they are (ok, I’m a bit cynical, I’ll say, they fall in love with whoever they ‘think’ you are, which sparks off the whole ‘I must change myself to be the perfect bf/gf blah-blah-blah-whole-load-of-crap) bottom line is… you shouldn’t make yourself into what you are not… unless you are 100% confident you can remain the new-you and never get tired of being what you’re not, your relationship will probably break down once your S.O. realises you’re not who you seem to be… or if S.O. cannot accept you for who you are!

So after this convoluted reasoning, somehow growing old makes you think in so many varied ways that you can never come to a conclusion… sighz… too many choices… too many possibilities…

Aside, I felt that the phrase ‘Mr Philantrophy’ sounded a bit sarcastic. I’m sure it’s not what she meant to portray, nor did her voice seem steeped in sarcasm, but it reminds me of the many times where people use the phrase ‘Miss goodie-two-shoes’ or perhaps ‘Mr Kind-man’ to mean some sort of sarcastic connotation.

Ok, if anyone wants the song, ask me! :)

Try it… ultimate stress reliever for patho… and then u start to realise that actually we’re all quite ‘guai’ people…

Minus 1% for everything that you’ve done. Then repost as your %. [ start with 100%]
1.Smoked.
2.Drank alcohol.
3.Cried when someone died.
4.Been drunk.
5.Had sex.
6.Been to a concert.
7.Given a handjob/gotten a handjob.
8.Given a blowjob/gotten a blowjob.
9.Been verbally sexually harassed.
10.Verbally sexually harassed somebody.
11.Felt someone up and/or been felt up.
12.Laughed so hard something came outof yournose.
13.Cheated on a boyfriend/girlfriendbefore.
14.Been cheated on by aboyfriend/girlfriend.
15.Been to prom.
16.Cried at school.
17.Gotten lost in a WalMart or adepartment store.
18.Went streaking.
19.Given a lap dance.
20.Had someone of the opposite sex inyour room.
21.Had someone of the opposite sex sleep over.
22.Slept over at someone of the opposite sex’shouse.
23.Kissed a stranger.
24.Hugged a stranger.
25.Went scuba diving.
26.Driven a car.
27.Gotten an xray.
28.Hit by a car.
29.Had a party.
30.Done drugs.
31.Played strip poker.
32.Got paid to strip for someone.
33.Ran away from home.
34.Broken a bone.
35.Eaten sushi.
36.Bought porn.
37.Watched porn.
38.Made porn.
39.Had a crush on someone of the samesex.
40.Been in love.
41.Frenched kissed.
42.Laughed so hard you cried.
43.Cried yourself to sleep.
44.Laughed yourself to sleep.
45.Stabbed yourself.
46.Shot a gun.
47.Trash talked someone and then acted like their best friend the next day.
48.Watched TV for 9 consecutive hours.
49.Been online for 9 consecutive hours.
50.Watched an animal die.
51.Watched a person die.
52.Kissed and/or messed aroundsomewhere withat least 1 person present.
53.Pranked somebody.
54.Put somebody in the hospital.
55.Snuck into someone’s room and/or your own room after being out.
56.Kissed somebody of the same sex.
57.Dressed punk.
58.Dressed goth.
59.Dressed preppy.
60.Been to a motocross race.
61.Avoided somebody.
62.Been stalked.
63.Stalked someone.
64.Met a celebrity.
65.Played an instrument.
66.Ridden a horse.
67.Cut yourself.
68.Bungee jumped.
69.Ding dong ditched somebody.
70.Been to a wild party.
71.Got caught stealing something.
72.Kicked a guy in the balls.
73.Stolen a boyfriend/girlfriend from afriend.
74.Went out with your friend’s crush.
75.Got arrested.
76.Been pregnant.
77.Babysat.
78.Been to another country.
79.Started your house on fire.
80.Had an encounter with a ghost.
81.Donated your hair to cancer patients.
82.Been asked out by someone that younever thought you’d to be asked out by.
83.Cried over a member of the opposite sex.
84.Had a boyfriend/girlfriend for over 3 months.
85.Sat on your ass all day.
86.Ate a whole carton of ice cream all by yourself.
87.Had a job.
88.Gotten cut from a sports team.
89.Been called a wh0re.
90.Danced like a wh0re.
91.Been mistaken for a celebrity.
92.Been in a car accident.
93.Been told you have beautiful eyes.
94.Been told you have beautiful hair.
95.Raped somebody.
96.Danced in the rain.
97.Been rejected.
98.Walked out of a restaurant without paying.
99.Punched someone/slapped someone in theface.
100.Been raped.
now repost and put your “– % virgin” as the subject

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