The Pensieve

ok, it’s the end of the A&E elective. I can’t believe time flew past so quickly.

I think my fave shift is the 4pm to 12am one, cuz there’s more to do, and i’m more awake at such hours. plus, i’ve got about half a day at home to do all my stuff. not bad eh.

Almost ended up with bloodshot eyes and cervical spondylosis pain after working my ass off for the review on SVT. -_- But it was not bad, quite interesting… better than doing on asthma, though I wouldn’t have minded doing something for acute rx of stroke. that’s one hot topic… i think they’re going to have a forum on it at some international emergency medicine seminar in Canada somewhere this Fri?

Ok, so this is the summary of what i’ve done this month. hehe… not very impressive lah. sigh.

No. of successful plugs set at 1st attempt = 41
No. of successful plugs set at 2nd attempt = 11

Total no. of successful plugs set: 52

No. of failed attempts (means either try once, then doc takes over; or try twice and i give up) = 8

No. of successful ABGs = 3

No. of successful urinary catheterisations = 3

No. of successful bloods taken = 15

I think I’m addicted to plug setting. Everyone is an experience! haha… Maybe i’ll get sick of it when i’m a HO. but rite now, oooh, wanna get my hands on more plugs… especially challenging ones. heh. So far haven’t tried setting on leg veins yet. Should have done it that day lah…

While travelling, some people are plain weird, while others, like myself, are just plain particular, or if you’re fond of the other word, a-n-a-l.

So here’re the 10 pecularities of a travelling dopey, in order of merit:

1. I ALWAYS get irritated during the first few days of the trip. I think it takes a couple of days to warm up to new travelling companions.

2. I get supremely irritated when travelling companions want to change the itinerary that I’ve planned out already. (Even more so if they’d previously agreed upon it) I don’t mind minor swaps and omissions, but to miss out on a key place of visit? NOOOOO… You’re there once and god knows when you might return, so please don’t miss out important attractions just in order to shop or to do something totally not worthwhile ok?

3. I value my privacy and my personal items… so would prefer if people don’t go through my clothes, or thingies and especially my lingerie ok. -_-

4. Tension normally builds up to breaking point, that’s when we have to think of some stupid joke which we all find funny, probably at the expense of a person we all know but isn’t there at the trip. :D We’ll just have a crazy drunken night of laughing and all will be better than fine for the rest of the trip :)

5. I am uncomfortable sleeping with other people in the same room. Usually. Please don’t mind me if I disappear suddenly or do weird things… But this time round, there’s Lilleen, so I suppose it’ll be quite ok… at least I’m used to her daily routine. haha… Wonder out of the three of us, who will spend the most time in front of the mirror? Maybe popping his pimples or something…

6. I spend an unecessary amount of time worrying about what to get my friends while I’m on a trip. If I start doing that again, will someone just knock me on the head and tell me that me enjoying my trip is more important than my friends liking what I get for them. — ‘It’s the thought that counts’

7. I give away like 30% of my food on the airline tray, not that I don’t like it… But it’s just not very suitable. Lucky leong who adores airplane food should be quite well-fed onboard. Hmmm I hope the French packed decent food…

8. I am very lazy to take photos with myself inside on trips. Maybe it’s cuz I’m not photogenic. But this time round I should make sure I take some photos as proof that I’ve gone to Spain! Hopefully I’ll be inspired by the photowhore.

9. I don’t like to call home much. Which ends up with my dad hounding me on the mobile and me not answering it and them kicking up a fuss when I finally make the pilgrimage to the nearest public booth to call with the ICC card.

10. I buy one item from each city that I go to in order to add to my brother’s ‘museum’. I also buy one smaller item from each city I go to, for myself. I think I’m going to get a biography of Salvador Dali, many many postcards, I love postcards (cuz they look better than the photos I take), maybe something fashionable… sigh. Wish I could get a bag/clothes/accessories/ESPADRILLES!!!

Rating: ***.5 out of 5

I have to salute Ron Howard for being the most faithful, loyal director ever… amongst all the directors who’ve made their big bucks by adapting a novel for the big screen.

When Harry Potter blah blah blah came out, die-hard fans were upset by the details that were left out, though for good reason. When Narnia came out, fans too had their share of disappointment. But for Da Vinci Code, the movie followed the plot so closely that towards the end, it almost tripped up the entire movie.

Avid readers will recall the stunned disbelief, occasional snort amongst the tensely-held breath (that we maintained throughout the gripping novel) as we read the section where Robert Langdon realised that even though the sarcophagus of Mary Magdalene did not lie in the Rosslin Chapel, it lay under the Rose Line… and then he started jogging toward the Louvre… I suspect this is the weak part of the plot which Ron Howard unfortunately revealed, in an attempt to be faithful to the work of Dan Brown…

Other than that, the movie is definitely better than the book, especially for those who have no idea watsoever about Leonardo da Vinci, the Mona Lisa, anagrams, Fibonacci sequences and all those cryptic clues… I think seeing will help the reader understand and follow the plot more closely.

I did enjoy the book, it made me think. :) And I managed to crack parts of the code! HEHEHE so smart! ;)

As for the choice of characters… hmmm… I like Audrey Tautou as Sophie. She’s so appropriate, she doesn’t even need to fake a French accent when she speaks English. haha… Ok, and I love her legs… ooh la la…

Anyway, Hanks just looks sooo… er odd. I think it’s the hairstyle? Combed back and all that? Euw. Other than that, I think he’s the right guy for this show. We can’t have someone too youthful-looking like Matt Damon or Leo… or someone too pretty like Bloom… or someone toooooo smooth like Gere (plus he’s like totally linked to ‘Pretty Woman’)… I did think of Russell Crowe though… Hmmm…

I realised that I never did review the book! WHOA. Anyway, I lurved it. Too lazy to review it now. I only wish I had Dan Brown’s mind.

PS: I SO WANNA VISIT WESTMINISTER ABBEY!!!

This is what makes me tick… which is why, I am so looking forward to…
- the Alhambra
- el Escorial
- el Monasterio de Monserrat
- la Sagrada Familia

in just slightly more than a week, i’ll be jetting off with some friends to SPAIN. yay, the place i’ve wanted to visit ever since after the A levels but never got to go because…

- no one else wants to go…
- no money to go…
- not ‘on the way’ during my other europe trips.
sheesh.

FINALLY yay… but it feels a bit like some kind of forbidden fruit, like i don’t dare to anticipate it overly lest something happens that makes the trip impossible.

i actually woke up one morning feeling like Meredith (Grey’s anatomy) felt… when she thought that was the day she was gonna die. that morning, i felt like i was going to fracture my leg… and i spent 15min in the bathroom wondering whether it was possible to hobble around Spain… and worse, i think even if my parents still let me go in that kind of state… (haha), i doubt anyone can hobble well on cobblestones.

ok. must exercise supreme caution this last wk in Sg.

i think i’m basically rambling.

dunno what to blog these days, need some kind of inspiration…

haiz. i still need to shop for clothes leh. and i wanna watch x-men… and i need to finish my review on SVT.

ARGH. and i still need to pack!

sighz. O said that call was going to be crazy, but it was so peaceful… in fact, it was unnaturally peaceful. a phrase i’ve heard a few times from various MOs.

for the record, most of them think we’re crazy, and ‘too onz’. but i think they’re glad that we’re very keen to do procedures.

i could set plugs all day long and not get bored by it. woooo… everyone has got such different anatomy of veins, different thickness of skin, different turgidity and watnots. it’s a whole new exciting challenge hahaha…

the ‘houseman vein’ is actually a misnomer. seriously, it might be the biggest, almost throbbing kind of vein, that even pops out in poor lighting… but it’s not all that easy to set plug in it. i really try to avoid it if i can find another vein on the dorsum. some of us have got bad record with the ‘houseman vein’.

call was soooo quiet the dr gave us a tutorial from like 3am to almost 6am! cool isn’t it? woweeee…

unfortunately, i was suffering from gastroenteritis all night… from the nausea to the bloatedness, down to some epigastric discomfort, and finally periodic colicky abdominal pain… it took an entire night for the tranist heheh… finally helped myself to some buscopan, and one of my elective mates probably had a kickass time giving me me IM buscopan. and i tell ya, it hurts! ouch. now i know how all the patients feel… but at least i’m not suffering from a sore arm now, so i think his technique must be quite good ;) buscopan really works miracles! wish i had more now. heheh…

*** Disclaimer: the following information is purely fictional, any resemblance to characters or scenarios dead or alive is solely due to coincidence or you’re a hallucinating schizophrenic.***

Due to numerous feedback from current medical students and house officers, there has been a suggested addition to the already congested medical curriculum. This new module, which would come under the purveyance of the COFM (community, occupational and family medicine) department, would be called: E.D.

The newly coined term ‘ED’, does not refer to the common problem of erec(tile dysfunction, but to a revolutionary teaching technique called ‘emotional desensitisation’. In this all-new approach towards improving patient care and attitude towards patients, the medical student would undergo a psychometric assessment to uncover all his/her weak or sore points and other character flaws.

Then, a personalised ‘desensitisation programme’ would be designed for each student. The student will be enclosed in a 3m x 4m ‘monastic’ cubicle with one ultra-cranky ‘patient’ from the academy of performing arts, and 2 PMS-like ‘nurses’, also from the academy of performing arts. Hereby, they would be subjected to a barrage of insults, complaints, shouts and personal attacks for 10min.

Suggested lines include:
- ‘how can you be a doctor, you can’t even be a nurse!?’
- ‘what kind of sick attitude is that huh? what u trying to do huh?’ (when you’ve obviously done nothing wrong)
- ‘%$&£*%3#’ and maybe chucks some gauze at you…

After the 10min, the student would be taken to a quiet room to rest and possibly recuperate.

After a short 10min break, the student is exposed to another barrage of ‘desensitisation’ from different sources for 15min.

This is once more followed by another 10min break.

The duration of ‘densensitisation’ is gradually increased at intervals of 5min, to a total of 30min.

At the end of such ‘exposure therapy’, the medical student is examined for signs of emotional trauma and referred to a psychiatrist if necessary. Heh.

If all else goes smoothly, the medical student is proclaimed to be ‘adequately desensitised’ to avoid provoking any response watsoever to unreasonable, unyielding, complaining patients in the future, except to smile the WML-megawatt smile.

Cheers to an all-rounded medical education - the knowledge, the skills, the mindset…

1. pple who take their own liberty to shorten my chinese name and call me ‘qi qi’

ROAR! Do not take that liberty unless you think you’re my close friend. Then again, if you’re not sure if you’re close friend, you can call me that or ‘qi mei’ and I will tell you that you’re not a close friend. Thank you.

2. pple who write my chinese surname correctly, proceed to write the second character of my first name WRONGLY (assuming that they are 100% right), then proudly show me the paper and ask me to fill in the last character.

SIAN.

I’m really offended when pple do not respect my name properly. It’s like my identity ok…

3. pple who say: oh you study blah blah blah huh… so must earn a lot of money rite?

Pls lor, earn what money… count the no. of hours of hard work, blood, sweat and tears put in… even if I do end up earning a lot of money in the future, it’s really what I deserve hor… so don’t make it sound like I’m sitting there, shaking leg and raking in money.

4. “Girl ah, you’re not local issit? from where ah? CHINA HUH?”

Ah but if after I explain and say that although my ancestors were indeed from 大陆 (the big land), but I’m 100% pure Singaporean with very good Singlish, I ask them why they think I’m from China…

I pardon those who say, “oh, cuz you look v fair you see…” (heh. ok, slightly mollified). But maybe they’re just smarter… and don’t dare to say, “cuz u got the 中国妹look…”

5. “Anything lah… I’m ok with anything…” (sulks)

Even though I’m a girl, and usually it’s the girl who says this… I do get irritated/upset when a particular friend of mine says this… and he’s not even a girl… -_-

6. When my father breaks/modifies his word after he’s given it.

I get sooo pissed when that happens! But now I’m smarter, whenever he makes certain promises or like transactions with me, I get my brother and mother to be witnesses… heh.

7. Talking to my brother when he’s facing the computer.

I have to repeat 2 times before he knows I’m talking to him, then I have to repeat another 2 more times because I tend to talk so fast that he can’t catch me.

I think I should learn from nala, and just speak some gibberish on the first two attempts to get his attention.

8. “mumblers”

mumbler: mumble-mumble-mumble
me: quizzical look
mumbler: mumble-mumble-mumble
me: sorry, again?
mumbler: mumble-mumble-mumble
me: i’m very sorry, can you repeat again?
mumbler: MUMBLE-MUMBLE-MUMBLE!!!
me: er… ok…

9. People who sweet talk me, or over-praise me ie. when they go overboard with their praise till it sounds like they’re being sarcastic. For eg.

praiser: you’ve grown up liao, so pretty!
me: er thanks.
(i mean, well, to a certain extent, yeah, i bet i must have been damn ugly when young for pple to say that now.)
praiser: you’re so pretty you could make the cover of any mag!
me: (oh please, don’t be ridiculous…)

10. I guess some pple also dun like to talk to me, cuz I go on and on and on and on and on and on and on and keep interrupting them. Paiseh hor, it’s my hypomanic episode. When that happens, just sigh really long and loudly and say, “You hyper again rite?”

This was by far the most emotional and thought provoking episode ever…. the one with the train crash and carnage…

The grossest thing ever, was this man and a woman, perfect strangers, who were skewered together, face to face, on a metal pole. The problem was, both couldn’t be operated at the same time together, yet the one who was first removed from the pole (so that the other person could be operated upon) would be first to die. The problem of course, was, how does one go about determining who dies? How do we choose?

Let’s say, medically speaking, the person with the better prognosis for recovery or survival should be operated on… but if you considered the problem from an different perspective, like who could contribute more to society in future, or who was economically more worthwhile, or even who had more 内涵… there’d be so many grey areas and no definite lines…

And then of course, there was this subplot where a seemingly perfectly healthy woman yammering on her mobile, complaining and walking around with lots of energy suddenly collapses and dies from an internal bleed. We never really know what’s going to happen are we? Probably reminds us to be even more observant of people, even if they’re not a patient? Or is it just telling us to ‘expect the unexpected’? Or perhaps, it’s just highlighting the fact that doctors are not omniscent and omnipotent?

Cristina provided quite a bit of sadistic comic relief in the episode where she would only be allowed to scrub in for an operation to internally fixate and rejoin a severed leg when she found the leg… In her hurry to not ‘lose her scrubs’, she haphazardly retrieved a woman’s leg, prompting the surgeon to remark how his patient must have gotten out of bed, decided to save his one leg that day and put on red nail polish. Then, she is also decidedly rude to the paramedics. She even attempts to enlist her boyfriend, head of surgery, to help retrieve the leg.

Her actions make me feel quite disappointed in her. I’m very sure this happens to all of us some time or another. We are so focused on ourselves and this game of survival in the hospital (trust me, it’s not easy to live within the clinical hierachy), that we place the patients’ interests secondary. It’s an ugly sight indeed. Also, actually at one point I was thinking, was it that imperative to retrieve the leg? In the face of such massive carnage, I was pretty sure there would be other people more desperately in need of help. Just like Alex said, that man can live without his leg.

So how justifiable is it to use up hospital resources for him?

nightmare again.

WHY DO I ALWAYS DREAM OF PEOPLE DYING???

this time it’s worse, i dreamt that BOTH my classmate’s parents died….

omg…. the mum died first of (cannot say of what cause), then the father died of heartbreak.

oh dear.

and i soaked my pillow!!!

ARGH.

Rating: **.5 / 5

‘It was beauty that killed him.’

It’s a remake of the 1933 classic, which I believe, generated more waves of excitement than this one. Put in one screaming-soulful blond, one soulful scriptwriter, one director who can’t act for nuts, one big mass of fur and growls, a hundred raging bronchosaurus-velocipt**saurus-t-rex, a hundred raging tribal crazies and you’ve got your ‘King Kong’ 2005.

I actually preferred Jurassic Park I, II, III to this one show!

Hmm, on second thoughts, maybe it would have been better to catch it on the big screen… more majestic eh?