*** Disclaimer: the following information is purely fictional, any resemblance to characters or scenarios dead or alive is solely due to coincidence or you’re a hallucinating schizophrenic.***

Due to numerous feedback from current medical students and house officers, there has been a suggested addition to the already congested medical curriculum. This new module, which would come under the purveyance of the COFM (community, occupational and family medicine) department, would be called: E.D.

The newly coined term ‘ED’, does not refer to the common problem of erec(tile dysfunction, but to a revolutionary teaching technique called ‘emotional desensitisation’. In this all-new approach towards improving patient care and attitude towards patients, the medical student would undergo a psychometric assessment to uncover all his/her weak or sore points and other character flaws.

Then, a personalised ‘desensitisation programme’ would be designed for each student. The student will be enclosed in a 3m x 4m ‘monastic’ cubicle with one ultra-cranky ‘patient’ from the academy of performing arts, and 2 PMS-like ‘nurses’, also from the academy of performing arts. Hereby, they would be subjected to a barrage of insults, complaints, shouts and personal attacks for 10min.

Suggested lines include:
- ‘how can you be a doctor, you can’t even be a nurse!?’
- ‘what kind of sick attitude is that huh? what u trying to do huh?’ (when you’ve obviously done nothing wrong)
- ‘%$&£*%3#’ and maybe chucks some gauze at you…

After the 10min, the student would be taken to a quiet room to rest and possibly recuperate.

After a short 10min break, the student is exposed to another barrage of ‘desensitisation’ from different sources for 15min.

This is once more followed by another 10min break.

The duration of ‘densensitisation’ is gradually increased at intervals of 5min, to a total of 30min.

At the end of such ‘exposure therapy’, the medical student is examined for signs of emotional trauma and referred to a psychiatrist if necessary. Heh.

If all else goes smoothly, the medical student is proclaimed to be ‘adequately desensitised’ to avoid provoking any response watsoever to unreasonable, unyielding, complaining patients in the future, except to smile the WML-megawatt smile.

Cheers to an all-rounded medical education - the knowledge, the skills, the mindset…