The pensieve - daily musingsJuly 13, 2006 9:54 pm

I still can’t believe i’m in my final year. today when i called the tutor up, i almost introduced myself as the yr 4 medical student…

during CTS session, the final years usually can’t or won’t squeeze in with the yr 4s and they head towards the other LT for the direct transmission of the lecture next doors. i felt really odd when i saw the year 4s… i did not feel any smarter, more capable or any bit more efficient then them. i merely felt much older and cynical.

when i prowl the wards these days, i’m so conscious that i’m a year 5… and that my ways of talking, walking, presenting and discussing cases are NOT LIKE A YEAR 5!!! aiyooooo

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on a separate note… i have this sudden onset of dysasthesia (specifically decreases sensation) over what seems like the dermatome of C2 and over the auricle of the ear… ie. sensory branches of the glossopharyngeal nerve… it occurred shortly after getting up from bed. There was no pain, muscle weakness, drooling, facial assymetry, tinnitus, ear pain or loss of hearing associated though there is a questionable history of maintaining my neck awkwardly flexed in bed for about 15min because i fell asleep while reading national geographic.

what can it be? transient sensory symptoms due to compression of the C2 nerve root? then what would account for the decreased sensation over the auricle?

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embarrassing incident:

my pants (the Zara ones from SPAIN!) were on the verge of slipping off when i did a 50m sprint to catch the bus this evening!

it’s getting dangerous. these pants are a bit too loose for any rough wear. haiz so troublesome, might have to get a belt… -_-

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this is a tiresome year. i foresee lots of problems with my mood. i’m probably going to be depressed most of the time. the only think keeping me going on is the thought of the MBBS.

The pensieve - daily musings 12:16 am

WOW I’VE NEVER BEEN SOOOOO ANGRY ALL MY LIFE! AND WHAT’S MORE, I WAS ANGRY AT SOMEONE I HADN’T EVEN MET OR TALKED TO IN REAL LIFE!!!

PLEASE DON’T ASK ME TO TELL YOU WHAT MADE ME SO ANGRY.

ACTUALLY I THINK IT WASN’T THIS INCIDENT THAT CAUSED ME TO BLOW UP IE. I CRIED FOR TWO HOURS WITHOUT ACTUALLY KNOWING WHY I WAS CRYING. AND AT ONE POINT I WAS LAUGHING AT MY MOTHER’S JOKE AND CRYING AT THE SAME TIME.

REPRESSION really isn’t good. i figure i’ve been repressing a lot of anger since secondary school. people used to think i’m this sweet-tempered, very tolerant person in sec school last time… then in JC i was this mild-mannered shy gal who wouldn’t really get angry no matter what happened to her… and i’ve got quite a few incidents of people bullying me or making mean comments about me and I NEVER EVER FOUGHT BACK or STOOD UP FOR MYSELF. and now, i’m just like this extremely snappy, sensitive b*tch who’s going to flare up at every tiny little thing. cos i’m just SO SICK OF BEING BULLIED! and of ACCOMODATING MY PLANS FOR OTHER FRIENDS and i feel that it’s high time i STOOD UP FOR MY RIGHTS especially against mean people who say nasty things to me / about me.