Thanks boss, I didn’t know you cared so much about your worker’s welfare…
This was written by da boss! (lolz)
Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff Series: 10 Steps to Successful and Effortless Parallel Parking
1. Find an empty parallel parking slot. Make sure no one is looking (LOL sorry dope I jus cant stop luffing…)
2. Pull ahead of the empty slot and stop beside the car parked in front of the space. Maintain a distance of about 1 metre between your car and the other car. Your car should be parallel to the other car.
3. Put the car in reverse. Check that it is safe to reverse. Begin to back up slowly; as soon as the car starts moving, fully lock (2 full turns) your steering wheel to the left (if the parking lot is on your left) or vice versa.
4. Back slowly into the space, while looking at your right rear view mirror.
5. As soon as the side profile of your car is flush with the left front signal light (which should be at the left most of the bonnet of the behind car), unturn your steering wheel one round to the right.
6. Continue backing into the lot and turing your wheel away from the curb (by unturning your steering wheel to the right) as you do so.
7. Straighten out your wheel so that your car flushes into the lot. Adjust forwards and backwards as necessary.
8. You should find your car within the lot by this time!!! Haha if not…erm…go back to step 1.
9. If the car is still out after 3 tries, er…go back to step 1. Just gotta try and try and try and tahan all the ah bengs and ah lians sniggering.
10. IF ALL ELSE FAILS, turn on your hazard lights, open your bonnet, put a bowl of dry ice in your engine compartment. Come out of the car, pretend to be dam pissed and exclaim “WAH LAU EH my engine overheat. KNN…” pretend to kick your car tire abit den walk off coolly. Mentos will recruit you for their next advertisement.
