1. ‘I would like to retract my statement.’
Edna: Don’t retract here and retract there, make up your mind! This is a really bad statement to say you know… (shakes head)
2. 61 wat? Milligrams? Millimoles? Pulse rate 80, 80 what? 80 beats per 15s? Units, units, units!
3. IPPA
Student: On inspection, my patient is a …… on palpation…. on percussion…
Edna: You don’t present in that year three way!
4. Long-windedness
Edna: What are your differentials?
Student: Based on my history and clinical examination… And by the fact that… I…
Edna: Don’t chong hei! Just give me your differentials!
5. ‘generic symptoms’
There has been a recent spate of patients admitted through the ED with chief complaint of ‘generic symptoms’. It irritates the hell out of all of us. Will the MO doing it please please please stop doing it… How can someone who comes in with a stroke have a chief complaint of ‘generic symptoms’… At least put a weakness of left side of body or unsteady gait rite…
6. Not tested say not assessed! Don’t put NAD NAD NAD…
Edna: Sensation, power, proprioception, vibration… all NAD. Don’t was it really tested or you all just put NAD. If not tested, put not assessed! At least next time when we want to know, we’ll know it’s not been assessed and then, we can go and test it. All this initial documentation by you all is very important, it’s the baseline of all things! It’s medico-legal…
7. ‘One-track mind’
PLEASE! Don’t one-track mind! Why didn’t you exclude cardiac failure or respiratory causes? How can you one track mind and say that the cause of his SOB is ascites? Maybe he has a pneumonia as well? Maybe he is in fluid overload from renal failure?
8. Lights! Positions! Haiz, why so messy!
Lights lights! The patient is lying all over the place… (proceeds to fold the blankets and sweater and places them at the foot of the bed…)
9. Duration, not dates!
Student: My patient, Mdm XYZ, 40 year old lady was admitted on the 10th of January for the chief complaint of…
Edna: Don’t give me dates? Now I have to think back and count…
Student: Sorry, my patient was admitted 3 weeks ago…
10. Me. Sadly. *Sob Sob*
Edna: ‘dopey’, why do you persistently irritate me!
Finally, in our thank you card, some left quite ‘cheeky’ comments such as:
- ‘I promise not to say I retract my statement ever again!’
- ‘I will not be one-track mind.’
- ‘I promise not to copy from the ED notes’
- and for myself, wanted to put a ‘I promise not to be chong hei’ comment, but I had already written many sentences there…. so…
