It seems like irritation and apathy are two of the moods I experience most of the time. If apathy can even be counted as feeling something.
Irritation… There are innumerable sources at work:
1. Patients’ relatives: they demand and demand and demand, and demand and demand… If you freaking want 24 hour attention from your team doctors and for them to be at your beck and call, then go get yourself admitted to A+++ class can! We do the best that we can but we can’t always be there!
2. Patients: especially those who are what we term ‘frequent flyers’, who get admitted but at the same time refuse to let nurses take their parameters, refuse get iv meds, refuse to follow fluid restrictions, then what are you getting yourself admitted for?
3. A&E
I’m so sorry spacefan and Jerwin, but sometimes A&E really admits cases that I (and my entire team) don’t feel need to be admitted at all!
How can A&E put ‘SOCIAL ISSUES’ as the reason for admission? The hospital is not a shelter for homeless people!
Why do people get admitted for hydration? When all they need is perhaps a couple of hours of iv hydration, and iv anti-emetics, after which they can continue safely with ORS? (and these people are healthy 30-40 year olds who aren’t that severely dehydrated either) Do you know we discharge these people on the same day?
And issit the A&E clerk who decides which patient gets admitted where? Cuz this job should be left to someone with a modicum of medical knowledge, not all patients who are ESRF should be admitted to renal, especially when they are in for entirely NON RENAL reasons!
(Ok ok I know that A&E also faces some shit from BMU and other stuff, but I just felt the need to vent over here.)
4. CPSS (this darn stupid inefficient system, stop telling us to work faster if your stupid basic machines can’t even function at a decent speed!)
There’ve been so many times when I’ve been so enraged by patients or their relatives that I feel like throwing the temperature chart in their face and telling them to go admit at a private hospital instead. But must REN REN REN!!! Lately though, I’ve become quite immune, I just let all the bad karma wash over myself, keeping myself demurely detached from the crap their give me. Why should I get emotional over these worthless issues?
Sometimes I indulge in a superb eye roll when I’m in private. Heh. My extraocular muscles are very agile these days!
Apathy… I guess it’s cause I’m too tired these days. I stop to feel. Even if my patients thank me or relatives hug me (yes, the wife of a patient at KRW actually hugged me on call), I don’t feel much happiness, sure I’m glad and relieved but I’m not thrilled to bits cuz I really don’t feel like I did lots to help them recover. Sigh.
And no I’m not feeling sorry for myself nor am I regretting, I’m sure that when life isn’t that busy, I’ll be able to appreciate the work I do more.
Yeah, and please don’t come and ‘comfort’ me, it irritates the hell out of me.
