During night call last Sunday…
In a certain ward of a certain hospital at 1am… behind the drawn curtains of certain bed, a certain woman was moaning and groaning in pain…
Me: “Auntie, I’m going to help you get it out, ok… coming now… tahan the pain ok…”
Auntie: ARGGGGHHHH! So pain so pain!
Me: “Tahan…. breathe! Deep breaths!”
Auntie: aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh! Stop stop stop!
Me: “The faster I get it out the better for you… Auntie, ok, we’re almost there, can you push?”
Auntie: EEEEEEHHHH!
Me: “1, 2, 3 ok, now PUSH! Coming…. Coming…. Jia you auntie!”
Auntie: (Huffing and puffing with occasional moans.)
Me: “Ok, it’s out!”
Auntie: Phew!
***
So what did that sound like?
Nah, I’m not doing O&G…
I WAS DOING MANUAL EVACUATION FOR A SEVERELY CONSTIPATED LADY!!!
PS: Dear fellow HOs and medical students, when you send a patient home on a codeine based medicine eg. codeine phosphate, please add lactulose +/- senna to your prescription or one of your poor colleagues might end up having to do manual evacuation at unearthly hours. It’s damn gross ok! (but strangely satisfying)
