It has just struck me, in the midst of an intensive preparation course for upcoming exams (which is going rather horribly), that I’ve just about completed my first year as an MO. There’re just so many ways to write about the conclusion (or not) of a rather eventful year. For fear of forgetting this special (or not) moment, I thought I’d commemorate with a long overdue blog entry. It’s been difficult to write anything here for the past months because I’ve realised how much I want to say, and yet how much more I am unable to express freely. What with medical confidentialty and a reluctance to allow any others to literally ‘read me like a book’.

Things get more complicated, the more senior you go, and mind you, I’m just about ONLY an MO. I’m already feeling like a walking contradiction, and I’m totally submerged in the grey areas of life.

Anyway, being a very ambitious person (so I’ve been told) and also a fairly obsessive one (as I’ve been told time and again), I thought to list out the important things that have occured in my first year of actual ‘work’ life.

1. My experience in the ED was one of my best (and most stressful) times ever, and thanks to that, I’ve finally made up my mind to spend the rest of my life in the bowels of the hospitals.
2. GM was an acquired taste, which I’m happy to unacquire soon, I hope, as soon as this MOPEX freeze is over. I can’t say that I haven’t ‘enjoyed’ myself, since I was offered plenty of opportunities to practice my ACLS and resuscitation techniques. I’m convinced that once a person declares himself or herself ‘ED’ patients just love to collapse in front of you, on your call, in your ward, or just randomly next to you at lunch.
3. I’ve made many good friends and acquaintances in this posting, and finally managed to walk of our my very shy self (as a medical student, I’d be terrified by almost ANY registrar - I’m sure no one believes this now as it might be the opposite).
4. There hasn’t been any obvious headway made in the realm of relationships of the romantic nature ie I AM TRULY SINGLE. There has been opportunities and potentials but I think guys are more fun as friends. Rumours are still flagrant that I’m attached to a certain someone and it seems like no matter what I do or say people just refuse to believe me. Maybe actions speak louder than words and some drastic act like a slap in the face or a knee in the groin would be sufficient to sever the grapevine (or not). Given the nature of our highly effective gossip circles, I think the people at the eastern side hospital will be buzzing about a lover’s tiff before the day is out.
5. The swine oh the swine… better now than never I say.
6. I’ve dealt with and hopefully survived the most difficult patient’s relative ever. Definitely stronger after that experience and hopefully will not be making an excursion to the courts, as my boss has cheekily suggested. Well and apart from that, I’ve learnt quite a bit from the lady herself!

A year ago, during the HO-MO transition period I remembered feeling more than a little bit panicky, more that a little insecure and definitely wondering how on earth a year’s medical experience could prepare me for a normal GM MO call. And now that I’ve completed a half year’s worth of it, it doesn’t seem that bad anymore. Somehow, somewhere, and through some obscure way, I’ve actually learnt quite a lot and progressed quite a bit despite everything. Hmmm… it all just happened so subconsciously, I didn’t even feel it (or maybe was too busy to).

At this point, I would be really surprised anyone would still be ploughing through my lengthy discourse. Unless of course they were merely scanning through it in the hope of catching phrases like ‘engagement’, ‘wedding’, ‘boy friend’? At which point you can go on to continue surfing at your pubmed, facebook, google whatever while I continue rambling in excess.

Ok, I’ve run out of steam but I will be back soon. The signs of pre-exam hysteria are about to come…